steph

Noriko is next to me in her playpen going crazy in a cardboard tube. I love her! She's adjusting really well.
I have ordered a bunch of stuff and I can't wait to make her cage look better.
Had to settle on a cheaper cage for now, but it's still a good size. I love when she picks things up with her little paws and chews on them, it's too cute. I want more chins!

Started working at the restaurant over the weekend, I will be working there two nights a week. Probably only 8-10 hours, but that's fine with me.
It's hard though, I have to remember to ask so many damn questions. But things are good.

Two of the baby chins died! It was so sad, Jeff and I went over to cheer them up. The runt of the litter is still alive.
I actually went and fed him tonight because they were both at work.
I hope he makes it!
I decided that I wanted to find a chinchilla anyway, I mean I didn't just want one because they were going to let me adopt one.
They are real work and I knew that I really wanted one once I started doing research.
I found a breeder today who had at least thirty-five chinchillas which was fun because she showed me all the different breeds and I held lots of them.
The one I picked is four months old and is beige and grey. So pretty!
All the research that I have done has shown that commercial pet stores like Petco and Petsmart carry products for chinchillas that are actually harmful. Mainly their food and plastic toys.
I think that's insane! I found a place that sells a really high quality food and I am going to order some stuff online.
Jeff knows that I like Japanese names and he suggested Noriko, which is perfect.
He's so great, he has even been eating the tofu that I've made. And he likes the chai soymilk and my carob bar that I bought.
Love him!

My friends Ryan and Emily have two chinchillas that they thought were both boys but one of them gave birth last week.
Apparently it's really hard to tell the sex of chinchillas, just like it is with rabbits as we found out when I was younger. There are three babies and they are crazy cute. They are probably giving two away.
When I was there last night it was so horrible because the mother died!
I guess that sometimes happens even a couple days after giving birth, and now they have to feed the babies themselves which is hard and time consuming.
But the good news is that my parents said I can adopt one! I'm so excited!
I've been doing lots of research, and watching videos of them, and they are so neat.
They can jump really high and take dust baths and roll around really fast to get clean.
I want to get a good cage so I will probably spent a little more than $100. I'm not sure how many weeks I have to wait to get one, but I can't wait!
I'm looking at names, but I guess it's even harder to tell the sex of young ones so I may just give it a girl's name since I may not know till it's an adult.
Akiko? Yuka? Noriko? Rika? Japanese names are the cutest, there are lots more I like I just don't know.
My cats won't be happy, but I'm getting a good quality cage and they won't even be able to reach their paws through the bars.
I love animals!

It has been some time since I posted. I'm sure no one noticed since I mainly post these for myself.
So I've been eating dairy in one form or another for my entire life. I never had a problem with it, loved it, then in the past year I started having all these stomach problems that just didn't go away.
I went to some doctors and after ruling a lot of things out, turns out I have a lactose intolerance. It never occurred to me to see if any type of food was having an impact on how I felt, and I have recently cut out all dairy.
I feel like 90% better now, and hopefully I will continue to feel fine as long as I don't slip up.
I've been trying different brands of non-dairy ice cream as well as many vegan frozen entrees and baked goods. So far I have discovered that Whole Foods is awesome with yummy vegan cookies as well as a vegan hot bar.
Tofutti is the best brand of ice cream, or frozen non-dairy dessert as some packages say, So Delicious orange creamsicle bars are my new best friends, and Silk soymilk is delicious. Chai is the best.
I'm not missing butter at all since Earth Balance tastes very similar to Smart Butter which is what I used to use and I never drank much milk so that's fine. I am missing ice cream but I like sorbet and at least Tofutti is creamy.
I'm really having a hard time with cheese though, since the vegan cheese I tried wasn't so good. I guess I need to experiment more with other kinds.
I found this website with really good recipes, http://www.veganyumyum.com if anyone is interested.
You know, all 100,000 of you.
I miss my cheese! I tried a few frozen vegan lasagnas but I was not huge on them.
I'm not sure if Kassia reads this but if you happen to see this, any recommendations?

I stopped eating red meat a few months ago also. I have never been big on it and when I have occasionally had a burger or something I would always feel sick afterward.
I read that the hormones can cause stomach problems, and I do not need any of those.
It's been easy, I love soy burgers.
I bought some chik'n wings, haven't had them yet, but I figure all of these things are worth a try.
I'm not saying that I am going to have the strength to go completely vegan, but I do like many vegan products.

I'm up too late. I should really be writing my paper. Or exercising or something.
I'm out of shape, I need to find a yoga or pilates class with an instructor that I actually like.

what flavor pocky are you?

[c] sugardew

Hmmm, Pocky is my new favorite thing!

Valentine's day was very good. I bought this box and painted it red with a heart on the front, then I attempted to line it with crushed black velvet and put a picture of us on the inside. I think it came out really good, and I filled it with candy and all kinds of fun sex related things. I got Godiva chocolates (yummmm) from Jeff, a necklace and tickets to see Mirah at the Iron Horse for Wednesday. Excited! I've never been there, apparently they have little tables and food which sounds so much better than standing the whole time at Pearl Street.

Last week my parents and Alex went to Boston overnight so of course Jeff was here and I made penne with vodka cream sauce, which actually came out good, baked brie, asian salad, and then we made and decorated sugar cookies. I have much more confidence in my cooking skills now that I have successfully made dinner. It was very fun, I wish my parents would go away more often.

I am kicking ass in my classes. The discussions for my Intimate Marriages class have been really interesting. I had a lot to say about the current one on gay marriage and how we feel about it, as well as how we feel about gays and lesbians being parents. I'm happy to see that the posts from other students have been in favor of both. I just wish that my teacher hadn't scheduled the midterm during spring break. Unfair.

Jeff will be here soon, I love him, I love life, even school.

I totally knew I was going to have to get all of my wisdom teeth taken out. I could have told them not to do the x-ray because I already knew my fate. My dad had his taken out when he was 20, he actually got it done for free because he worked at some dental place and about 30 students observed and took part in it. I wouldn't mind that if it could be free, because even though I don't have to pay for it, it's almost 2,000 and who knows how much insurance will cover. The oral surgeon explained everthing to me, and it sounds way worse than other people have told me. So many risks and unpleasant things!

*Postoperative discomfort,swelling, bruising and discoloration that may require several days of at-home recuperation (i'm so going to get bruising)

*Prolonged or heavy bleeding that may require additional treatment

*Injury or damage to adjacent teeth or fillings

*Stretching of the corners in the mouth that may cause cracking and bruising and may heal slowly

*Restricted mouth opening for several days; sometimes related to swelling and muscle soreness and sometimes related to stress in the joints of the jaw, as well as referred pain to the ear, neck and head

*Fracture of the jaw in more complicated extractions (awesome!)

*Injury to the nerve underlying lower teeth resulting in numbness or tingling of the chin, lip, cheek, gums and/or tongue which may persist for several weeks, months, or, in rare instances, PERMANENTLY! ahhh okay i know that that probably won't happen, but he did tell me that he had a young girl in there who had been having numbness for weeks so it happens!

I just had to write some of those because I feel like unnecessarily scaring myself. The appointment isn't till March but i'm just annoyed that I have to have it done. And I'm sure I'll be all gross and swollen for days afterwards and I won't let anyone see me, including Jeff, so it will be a lonely time. I'm sleepy.

Break has been good so far. I have mostly been spending it with Jeff, and i've seen Dylan and Adam a few times as well. Christmas was strange since there was no snow, but I liked my presents. I was so excited to get the L Word from Jeff because I have recently discovered it, and it is awesome. New Years Eve we went to Kyle's apartment and I watched Jeff and other people play a million games of beer pong, but it was actually a fun night.

My final grades were A, A, A-, B. I'm pretty happy with that, although I thought I would have done a little better in math but I guess that pointless portfolio dragged my grade down since I didn't exactly finish all of it.

A few weeks ago we noticed that Pharoah was getting pretty thin, and then I noticed these big bumps on her neck. Just as I suspected, they were tumors. She had lymphoma and we started giving her these pills that were supposed to help shrink the tumors, but when we thought she had swallowed them we'd find them around the house later on. Then my mom woke me up one morning and said that Pharoah wasn't eating, wouldn't walk around or move much at all. She said she had to bring her to be put down and that I had like an hour to say goodbye to her. I thought that was really sudden because we hadn't even talked about putting her down yet and it was really depressing. We had my dad bring her because my mom and I just couldn't go. We had her cremated and we are going to scatter the ashes when we get them. My mom really wanted to get another cat right away because it was too sad for her without Pharoah since the other cats aren't that friendly, and she used to sleep with us. We went to the MSPCA and we were originally looking for a kitten but we saw this white persian cat and we had to take him. He was in a fire and had some injuries so his owners dropped him off there but his owners never came back for him. Then an old couple adopted him but brought him back because the husband was abusing the cat!! That makes me sick. We named him Cairo and he's adjusting really well considering his last owner was an abusive prick. I miss Pharoah though.

Yogalates soon (combo of yoga and pilates) and then Jeff is coming over. Excited!!

I just watched Super Size Me. I can't believe what eating McDonald's for 30 days can do to your body. Actually, I can believe it, I just can't believe the guy did it. You couldn't pay me enough. I'm so glad I stopped eating fast food. Just the thought makes me ill.

I bought cotton candy rock candy even though I hate things with a cotton candy flavor. Bad idea. But I love actual cotton candy. Go figure.

Went out to eat with my parents tonight to celebrate my dad's birthday. We went to Zen, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite restaurants. The Hawaiian roll? Amazing, I want to eat it everyday. I do have to pick the avocado out of it, which is annoying, but worth it. Don't even get me started on their orange chicken.

The air conditioner in my car will be all fixed tomorrow which is good. But I noticed a decent sized scratch on the side of my car. Some idiot definitely did it when opening their door or something because I do not remember scraping my car up against anything. At least they didn't throw pennies at it.

Screw big groups in red vans who don't tip! They came again today, I wasn't working, but we stopped at the shop and Hannah had the same experience as me. It's sad that we don't get to work together anymore.

I need to get my books sometime next week. I looked on the bookstore website to make sure they were all in, and for math there isn't a book yet, but there is a rubik's cube, which hopefully means that this will be an incredibly easy class. Unless we have to solve it to pass.

I'm hoping the pink rock candy isn't bubble gum flavored.

I really feel like they are going to totally mess up the American remake of Battle Royale. I'm still going to see it, but I know I'll just be comparing it to the original and I'll probably leave fuming.
If anyone like Paul Walker or some female hip hop singer stars in it, I will lose my lunch.

I'm watching this special on the Discovery Channel about the Hima people in Uganda, wherever the hell that is, who regard fat women as beautiful. Men will generally only marry a woman if she is very fat.
The fatter she is, the more she is desired, and the more the man will be respected by his peers.
That is completely the opposite of how it is here and it's hard to imagine it. They say that they think thin women don't look good. A woman makes her granddaughter drink like 8 gourds of milk everyday, and if she doesn't, she beats her.
She told her that even if her husband beat her, she has to deal with it because marriage isn't easy. If he said anything to offend her, she would have to keep her mouth shut, because apparently that's what women should do. Sickening.
And one man delightfully compared women to cows. I'm so glad I wasn't brought up to believe that.

I have been doing remarkably well with saving money for the cape. I'm so happy to be going with jeff, it'll be my first vacation without my parents or my friends parents. I feel like such an adult. I know it's going to be great, it better be since I will have to start school very soon after.

This is the best summer I've had in quite some time.

i'm not sure why I even update this anymore since nearly everyone has stopped posting in their journals and I doubt more than one person still reads mine.
oh well, here is a survey from kassia's myspace bulletin.

Sixty-Nine Odd Questions

Are your parents married or divorced?: married.

Are you a vegetarian?: no.

Do you believe in Heaven?: I’d like to, but I’m not sure if I can.

Have you ever come close to dying?: I ran out in front of a car when I was about two and I

guess they didn’t even slow down or anything and my dad ran out and grabbed me in time. this happened in front of the new babysitter that he was talking to, and she saw me before he did
but didn’t do anything. she was so fired.

What jewelry do you wear 24/7?: earrings and necklaces.

Are you eating?: junior mints.

Do you eat the stems of broccoli: I have a thing about that. I hate them.

Do you wear makeup?: yes.

Would you ever have plastic surgery?: probably not.

What do you wear to bed?: underwear and a tank top when its hot, pajamas when it’s colder.

Have you ever done anything illegal?: oh yes.

Can you roll your tongue?: mhm, I am doing it now.

Do You have a boyfriend or girlfriend?: no.

Do you believe in Abortions?: absolutely.

What is your Hair color?: dark brown.

Future child's name, boy and girl?: I used to spend tons of time looking up baby names and making lists of the ones I like, even though I really don’t want kids.

Do you smoke?: no. I’m pretty much the only person I hang out with right now that doesn’t.

If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?: Ireland and Paris.

Do you sleep with stuffed animals?: I used to, but now the cats sleep with me.

If you won the lottery, what would you do first?: buy the biggest box of Godiva chocolates ever.

Gold or silver?: silver

Hamburger or hot dog?: hot dog I guess.

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?: pad thai I guess.

City, beach or country?: country.

What was the last thing you touched?: obviously the keyboard

Where did you eat last?: here, my junior mints.

When's the last time you cried?: Friday, insane stomach pains.

Do you read blogs?: yes.

Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?: I don’t look good as a boy. I noticed that when I dressed up as Racetrack from Newsies a few years ago.

Ever been involved with the police?: that time on the train tracks.

What’s your favorite shampoo/conditioner and soap?: L’oreal Professionnel.

Do you talk in your sleep?: no, but my brother does.

Ocean or pool?: pool maybe.

What's your favorite song at the moment: easy to be around, diane cluck.

have you ever had a cavity?: a thousand. I probably have one now.

Window seat or aisle seats?: window, but I really, really hate flying.

Ever met anyone famous?: no, but my dad has.

Do you feel that you've had a truly successful life?: not exactly.

Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: twirl.

What is your fav. sport to play?: oh tons! i just can't choose! actually, i can. no sport at all. ever.

Basketball or football?: neither.

When was the last time you went to the bathroom?: that’s a really necessary question. a little while ago.

Cake or ice cream?: cake. I’m sick of ice cream.

Are you self-conscious?: yes.

Do you like any of your close friends?: perhaps.

Have you ever given money to a bum?: mhm.

Have you been in love?: yes.

Where do you wish you were?: at a restaurant.

On myspace why is the 1st person on ur top 8 there?: because he is amazing.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?: no, thankfully.

Can you tango?: with the best of them.

Last thing you spent lots of money on?: clothes.

Where do you live?: Easthampton.

Last wedding attended.: I don’t think I’ve ever been to one.

Favorite restaurant?: probably Fire Cuisine, which I still call Café Casablanca which was the original and better name. the baguette with almond butter and jam is awesome.

What is your favorite kind of car?: er, I don’t know.

Can you sing?: I like to. not usually in front of anyone though.

Person on your mind?: the hoff.

What's your least fav. chores?: cleaning the bathroom.

Favorite drink?: sparkling cider.

Currently have a Crush?: yes, though I think that the word crush is very middle school.

How long was your longest drive in a car?: we drove to Florida once, so however long that is.

Why do you do Myspace surveys?: because there is nothing better to do at nearly 3 in the morning.


my parents left for maine today and are back tuesday. i'm trying my best to take advantage of this.
no point in having a party of any sort though since everyone works early nowadays. except me.
i'm out of junior mints.
and i really don't want to walk across the street to put my netflix movies in the mailbox because i have the feeling i will be attacked by an animal or michael myers.
at least alex is here to protect me. not.

My class is over, so my summer has officially started.
Work has been okay, I've been having way too much ice cream though. It gets so boring so that's really the only thing to do.

I'm so excited. I want to be at the cape right now!

Today my parents had a father's day/birthday party for my grandpa and I.
We were both born on the same day which I still find weird.
I got about four hours of sleep last night so I wasn't in the cheeriest of moods.
All of my relatives seemed about a thousand times more annoying than usual, probably due to my lack of sleep.
Jeff was here for a while, so I did have fun.
He is responsible for getting that Eddie Murphy song stuck in my head, and that other crazy song where the guy goes off on his lady at the end.

I haven't had a chance to tan outside lately, and I feel incredibly pale.
I do have an urge to go to the tanning salon, but if it really increases your chances of skin cancer by 50% like they say it does, then I'm not sure it's a smart idea.
I got this Loreal Natural Glow moisturizer, but since it's not exactly a sunless tanner, it's not doing all that much for me.
It also kind of smells like soup.

I would definitely be failing my lab if I had done it on campus.
I'm doing good since I can use my book.
Even though they say you aren't supposed to, how would they ever find out?

People ask annoying questions at work. All the time.
"Does your ice cream have any hydrogenated oils?"
"Uhh...let me check."
I read the ingredients on the peanut butter idiorod and don't see anything about it.
Then she asks, "What makes your soft ice cream soft?"
"Uhh...."
"Ya know, what makes it soft, like what's in it?"
"I'm sorry, I was never told what is in our soft serve."
Good lord.
And people get all offended when you don't have the flavor they want.
This priest gave me such attitude when I told him we don't have vanilla chocolate chip.
Sorry, Padre. Maybe if you pray really hard, the lord will deliver.

School is over, I have a bit of time before my summer class starts.
I wish I hadn't signed up for it, it's going to be bad.

These stupid bastards on ebay are outbidding me like crazy!
I put up a bid, and like a second later it says I've been outbid.
I placed the first bid, at one dollar.
It has gotten up to 7.50 in the last two minutes.
This means war!

I was looking at picture from about two years ago, when I had really long hair.
Why the hell did I cut it? I really miss it now.
If I decide to grow it out it'll take years to get to where it was.
Stupid me.

"I'm not your bitch, BITCH!"




I love Top Chef. Someone get me that shirt.

I watched this really awesome movie last night with Jeff, who I have forgiven, called Battle Royale.
Basically, a junior high class is picked to participate in a 'game' where they are taken to an island and are given food, water, and a weapon.
They are told that they have three days to kill off all of their classmates until only one person surives, and is declared the winner.
If there is more than one person still alive by the end of the third day, the necklaces that have been put around their necks will explode, killing everyone.
And then no one wins.
It takes place somewhere in Japan, and it's not supposed to be some underground thing, the government creates the game and makes it legal.
What a scary idea.
Had to buy the book today, and I had a blackberry green tea frappucino.
That's the third one I've had in a week. I must stop myself.
There's probably a million calories in it.
I just started reading this book Running with Scissors but now I'm wondering if I should put it on hold to read Battle Royale.
Tough Decision.

Just so I can keep track, I'm going to list the books that I need to read.
And the authors of those books, because I have nothing better to do at the moment until my sesame tofu gets here.

*Pride and Prejudice//Jane Austen
*A Room of One's Own//Virginia Wolf
*Valley of the Dolls//Jacqueline Susann
*The Unbearable Lightness of Being//Milan Kundera
*Girl With a Pearl Earring//Tracy Chevalier
*Eva Luna//Isabel Allende
*Candide: Or Optimism//Voltaire
*Memoirs of a Geisha//Arthur Golden
*The Butcher Boy//Patrick McCabe
*Henry and June//Anais Nin
*Cherry//Mary Karr
*A Delusion of Satan: The Full Story of the Salem Witch Trials//Frances Hill

I should start on my paper that's due Monday.
I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to say in it, maybe I'll just pick an easier topic because I really don't feel like putting any effort into this with school being almost over.

Food's here!

Dylan talked me into smoking with him last night at the box.
I didn't even have that much, and then I started feeling really sick and panicky.
I kept asking him if he was sure that you couldn't die from pot, even though I know you can't.
So I walked home and for the next two hours I was curled up on the couch trying not to cry or scream, because I wanted to do both.
I could hear this weird sound, like there was wind blowing all around me, and I kept wishing I hadn't left Dylan because I needed someone there so badly.
I was thinking about that time when Rachel smoked, had a really bad reaction and got sick and I really didn't want the same thing to happen.
It didn't, thank god.
I just felt like I was going to die kind of.
No more pot for me.

I was just thinking about the guinea pigs.
And how awful Alex and I are for giving them away.
We just got lazy and we didn't want to empty their huge cage in the woods in the winter.
I wonder if they are still alive.
I really want another one, with a smaller cage that I can keep in my room.
I'm a bad person!
And I miss little Marius.